Friday, August 24, 2007

The annoying interpretations and categorizations

Honestly I am getting a bit weary of the labels that are put on women… Before I go any further, let me make it clear that I am not a feminist whatever that means and I am not a female folk advocate… I like men and can demonstrate that… I like men in all their glory… but truly, it is getting annoying a bit when you hear all the categories and pressure groups and labels that are put on women.

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend. My friend is a gentleman of 77 years…yes 77 (no typo here) although when he talks he sounds and I guess he assumes that he is still 35. My friend is ‘single’…whatever that means. I have known him now for 12 years and my son thinks he is the oldest person in the whole universe… he is Srilankan and very hairy… all hairs are pure white not just gray so he looks a sight…(he will kill me if he ever reads this piece. The last time we saw him was 2 years or so ago in Lagos. He used to live in Washington DC but moved back home last year…we ran into him during this vacation and he invited me out for lunch.

Over lunch he was telling me about his time in Srilanka…he plays golf for life now…and he was ‘lamenting’ about how the women are all over him…(go figure) and I said “really…tell me more” and he went on about how the town is full of divorced women in their 50s and 60s looking for ‘single men like him’…who they want for companions.

It was like something went off in my head… I said how come it is only women who are always desperate at every stage of our lives?? In our 30s and 40s we are desperate for marriage so we are always supposed to be ‘avoided’… then again 50s and 60s it is no longer that we desperately want to get married…now we desperately want a companion…how come we are always wanting something from men. How about men?? Don’t they get desperate at some point?? Are they not human??

Really this is not about being a woman and wanting to protect women, I believe that we are whole beings and complete at every stage of our lives. If we get married, it is because both men and women have a need for each other. I do not believe that one gender needs the marriage more than the other. Given that women have put some time constraint to when this should happen but that is ‘man made’. God has a plan for each of us male or female, married or single. I just think that people should stop putting labels on any particular gender under whatever categorization…age, size, height etc. A man desires companionship just like a woman and same goes for marriage. Hopefully, my friend got the message and like I said, I am not a feminist but it hurts to think that at every stage our lives as women we are “out for something”.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

A smile from the heart

We have all experienced, witnessed if not received a great smile at some point in our lives from someone…it is the kind of smile that radiates warmth, love and real honest appreciation …especially when you receive it for nothing except crossing the givers path to merit it.

This morning as I went for my run, I experienced one of those smiles. I have a couple of running routes and I kind of alternate them not on any formal arrangement but when I get out in the morning, I head one way or the other… sometimes I run the same route two or three days in a row…depending on how I feel (some routes are easier…less hills). Anyway, this morning, there were these two elderly women I saw on my way up the “hill” and they were coming from the opposite direction. The first thought that went through my mind was that I certainly will like to have a friend to call up about 6:30 am to say “it is time for our walk” when I am in my 60s and beyond.

It was obvious that this is something they do often. They were relaxed and purposeful in their movements (yes I could tell and see all these within the short period) because I had time looking at them as I was running up to them. However, they were on the other side of the road so I had no very close contact. This route is like a crescent…circular…so running around you can meet same people again and again and this was what happened.

I ran into two the two lovely ladies and this time on the same side of the road and one of them gave me a wave and I looked up and the smile I received was unexpected, unprecedented and straight from the heart. I was not only happy and returned the smile but it made a deep impression right away and it occurred to me that I cannot remember the last time if ever I have received such a great smile…. Mine must have screamed “thank you” thank you very much”…”you have made my day” actually it blessed my day. The effect of this smile stayed with me all day and I remember and visualize the elderly but fresh face filled with that smile and even now that I write I am still amazed as I did not know or rather have not experienced such profound effect from just a smile.

I am not saying that we should smile sheepishly at people (like those stale and frigid smiles on London underground) but a true smile from the heart can make a person’s day (it made mine) and help them on the life’s journey (even if it is for a short while). Looking this woman, I also came to the conclusion that some people have this and they effortlessly offer it…it is a way of life. Now, you cannot give what you do not have and for such smiles to come from within…the heart must be at peace not necessarily without burden or care but at peace with who you are, at peace with where you are and at peace with where you are headed…

Give a smile today…

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Looking gorgeous is serious business

Looking gorgeous (must have different definitions) is serious business…no matter the point you view it from. Yesterday, I went out to the mall (an upscale mall) two stops away from Pentagon…

I like to go to that part of the city not only because I get to pass the well dressed military men of God’s own county…looking impeccable and well groomed in their uniforms, I get to see all sorts of good looking and well dressed and not-so-well-dressed people as well…

Today though a gorgeous 40 something (at least by my estimation) may be older but not less bounced into the food court with this guy (both of them in obvious gym outfit…definitely coming out of the gym)…the lady only in sports bra (but this is summer and summer I America…anything goes)… )… baring this “want to kill abs and midribs …they exhume “I have just had a great work out”…and heads did turn…men and women alike…some admiration, some jealousy, others envy and some sheer lust… Moi, I was…mhh! To have this look, I gotta kill myself since I am definitely not having any intrusion…(remember my earlier piece on this?)

All of us were having a hearty meal and guess where these two people strolled to? Mr Smoothie…all fresh and organic…fruits only stand…No wonder I said to myself and they unassumingly strolled out again with their smoothie of orange, and other exotic fruits…Yours truly I continued with my carry out from Panda express of hearty bourbon chicken and mixed vegetables…told myself “you are not doing badly at least it is not pizza or burger… you know what I mean? But suffice it to say that it cured me of the frapuccino that I was going to go for at the starbucks stand once I was done with my food. Instead, I drank up my water and headed out feeling like the 40 something lady with a killer body even though I can feel the excess fats and spare tires bulging out and going up and down…my excuses has been old age catching up on me but that must be lame excuses … don’t you think???

So now, I am on a mission to tone, trim and firm …gotta look gorgeous only it looks like it will be a whole lot of work…wish me luck!!!

Monday, August 06, 2007

Back with a vengeance

Oh my God...I do not even know where to start...I kind of think that I have forgotten blogging except that I have been looking forward to this time...yes! yes! and full fist yes!!! I have sometime off work and I will devote most of this time to keep this site up to date and to share the many things that have been going on these weeks, months that I hardly posted anything here.

I am on vacation...whose idea is it anyway to head west at this time of the year? How come everyone is asking "where are you off this summer?" Believe it or not, summer is now a season in Nigeria. I mentioned this in my earlier blogs...and come to think of it, this is site is a time flies but I will be making my anniversary blog post later not today. Anyway, it is so hot out here that it makes the Niger sun and heat a child's play oh at least I do not live up north in Abuja and Sokoto so I cannot compare adequately...

Tired of answering the questions, and also finally getting the draining project that I have been on in some form of order and closure, it was time to take a breathing space and attend to other matters of interest and well being. So, I planned a vacation...yea yea yea...pappee is with me but he is in a summer camp...which is good and I get to do some fun in the moring, come home and crash in front of Tv watching daytime soaps and opening books in front of me and thinking I will eventually get to read them before the day is over.

I have been so drained, tired and old age is finally catching up on me if not, how come I was alsmost losing it just be the sheer pressure of work? I indeed undertook a big project and it was not only stressful, it drained me physically and mentally and at the end of th 4th month, I knew that if I am to be useful again professionally, I need sometime to recup, rejuvenate and have my soul restored.

Talking of my soul, I am also embarking on a study of different books of the bible personally and also attending some bible school teaching. I think this is an important time of my life and I need to get to where I need to be and the only to it is to learn at the feet of the great teacher. So on this vacation, there will be more the word...know what I mean?

So Pappee and I are in God's own country..(where better to be ...?)... Did I mention that I am also in need of retail therapy?? As you can tell by now, there is just so much to do even though it is a vacation but all these are not work... actually I have not missed work that much. I dare say that I will be doing very light work via email but I will not be called into countless meetings and I will not be in traffic shuttling to one meeting or the other...