When our Desires are yet unfulfilled

I have chosen a very unusual title for this piece because this is what the experience has thought me, to find joy in what we have , continue to desire what we want and believe that we will have them. I have also learnt that it is not over until it is over and not until God says so, we humans can do very little.

It was Pappee’s 7th birthday a couple of weeks ago. He was so looking forward to turning 7, you will think that there is something extraordinary about the day. As a Christian the number 7 is very significant but that was not what my son was focusing on. He was going to have a “big party”. He actually requested for this party as according to him, he has not had any party ever before”…strange he had a first year big bang…why we do that I do not know when the kids never remember. Subsequently, it has been cake and party packs/gifts to school and sharing with classmates. This year I agreed to a big party and we went all out for it…the excitement that this brought was enough for the cost and the labor that went into. He truly enjoyed his day and I was very happy for him. Even though it was the onset of the rainy season for days and weeks he kept praying for sunshine and the night before he reminded everyone not to forget to ask for a sunny weather the next day. He was very particular about the hours which were what made his prayers special. I prayed that it will not rain, all through the day but he prayed for no rain for specific hours and his request to all he said “God please stop the rain from 1:00pm to 6pm” Those were the hours of his party. I must say that God granted him that request…not only did it not rain…it must have gone down as the hottest day in May but the kids could not care less.

On the morning of this day, a very strange thing happened. As I woke up and came out of my room, I saw him sprawled on the carpet watching his Disney channel. This is probably the only time he watches television and the channels and programs are restricted. He jumps right up and comes to me and I started praying for him and trying to bless him as my child on this his 7th birthday but he pushed me out a little bit so that he can look me over, and lifts up my pajamas top to get a good look on my stomach and then he pokes me all over the stomach and I was still wondering what was going on. Then he blurts out “Omimi’s mummy had a baby on his birthday”. Immediately, it hit me what this drama was all about. My son has been secretly wishing and believing to have a sibling on his birthday. Although Pappee has always prayed for a brother and a sister, he has not as much as asked me when that will happen or why it has not happened. His disappointment was so clear and my heart went out to him. I held his hands, looked directly into his eyes and told him that if that is what he truly wants today, he should go into his room and pray and ask God to give him a brother or a sister before his next birthday.

Why do I say when our desires are unfulfilled…I have often thought about how I really thought I would have two kids and there is no reason why I cannot. Over the years I have believed then I un-believed. I have even come to accept that it will never happen and have moved on with my life and joyfully so too. My son is such a joy and a handful. Very intelligent, focused and very smart. It is impossible to feel like something else is missing in my life where kids are concerned. I would really want him to have a sibling but I have no control over that happening…that is not true, I have God’s word to hold unto and I have a role to play. Giving up in the face of the seemingly difficult situation is not really what is required of me or giving up when God has not given up on me is also a calamity which only the action of a boy has taught me. Around me as well is a friend who do not wear her faith on her sleeves (like me I must say) but perseveres through situations too numerous to mention yet, holds on to the end believing and doing all she can to get to what she wants. That also has been a good lesson. I am quick to give up

I do not know what desires you have that are truly aligned with God’s word and has not come to pass, if you will believe with a childlike faith that is not looking at why it cannot happen but will believe that God is able to do it and will do it, you will be amazed at the zeal you will have in facing your day and tough times.