Honestly I am getting a bit weary of the labels that are put on women… Before I go any further, let me make it clear that I am not a feminist whatever that means and I am not a female folk advocate… I like men and can demonstrate that… I like men in all their glory… but truly, it is getting annoying a bit when you hear all the categories and pressure groups and labels that are put on women.
Yesterday I had lunch with a friend. My friend is a gentleman of 77 years…yes 77 (no typo here) although when he talks he sounds and I guess he assumes that he is still 35. My friend is ‘single’…whatever that means. I have known him now for 12 years and my son thinks he is the oldest person in the whole universe… he is Srilankan and very hairy… all hairs are pure white not just gray so he looks a sight…(he will kill me if he ever reads this piece. The last time we saw him was 2 years or so ago in Lagos. He used to live in Washington DC but moved back home last year…we ran into him during this vacation and he invited me out for lunch.
Over lunch he was telling me about his time in Srilanka…he plays golf for life now…and he was ‘lamenting’ about how the women are all over him…(go figure) and I said “really…tell me more” and he went on about how the town is full of divorced women in their 50s and 60s looking for ‘single men like him’…who they want for companions.
It was like something went off in my head… I said how come it is only women who are always desperate at every stage of our lives?? In our 30s and 40s we are desperate for marriage so we are always supposed to be ‘avoided’… then again 50s and 60s it is no longer that we desperately want to get married…now we desperately want a companion…how come we are always wanting something from men. How about men?? Don’t they get desperate at some point?? Are they not human??
Really this is not about being a woman and wanting to protect women, I believe that we are whole beings and complete at every stage of our lives. If we get married, it is because both men and women have a need for each other. I do not believe that one gender needs the marriage more than the other. Given that women have put some time constraint to when this should happen but that is ‘man made’. God has a plan for each of us male or female, married or single. I just think that people should stop putting labels on any particular gender under whatever categorization…age, size, height etc. A man desires companionship just like a woman and same goes for marriage. Hopefully, my friend got the message and like I said, I am not a feminist but it hurts to think that at every stage our lives as women we are “out for something”.
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6 comments:
You don’t need to be a feminist to make the points that you have just made. Its an excellent write up and I feel you all the way. Nice blog, I am still reading the other posts.
Interesting post.
Every one has a need at one point in time or the other. I'm sure even your single friend has certain needs too he cant fulfil on his own but needs others to help him achieve. thats life.
Hello Amaraeee...it's been a whyl...just checking...
Your post is funny girl..the thing with labels is, they just stick and then everyone pretty much feels thst way about it.. Your friend is a funny one.
Here via Azuka's. Good post but it brings up the question "what is a feminist?"
For me, a feminist is someone who believe in the equality of men and women.
Anyway, thanks for the good read:)
I am happy to find out that this piece had some points and I was not just blabbing. Seems to me though that women will continue to take the rap...
Adam also ate the fruit...after all the instruction was given to him...he could have managed his household better...he must have stayed too long in the office to give satan that long time to say in his house and have a tea party or even picnic with Eve...
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