The case for mentoring

There is quite a bit being said these days and a number of stuff flying around the whole place on mentoring. I was talking with a fellow parent in school a couple of days ago and she wanted to know what I do. I said that I am an HR professional but currently involved with career and life coaching and that I also train groups and organizations on leadership and managerial effectiveness as well as coaching and mentoring in workplace.
She said that a lady had approached her in church to ask her to mentor her as she is getting into business. She asked me if I have a coach. I said I needed a coach when I was making the transition from 8 -9 as internal consultant to independent service provider. Anyway, she has always worked for herself so this lady wanted her to coach her as she begins the arduous journey of self employment.
On my way home from this meeting, I was reviewing all the conversations and even the meeting we went for (something that I learnt to do over the years) Now I do not even think of it… once I leave a meeting or had a conversation, my mind automatically goes into a debrief mood. It occurred to me that people choose mentors without consideration. I do believe that a successful person will be flocked around by people wanting to know how he or she did it but mentoring goes beyond that.
What do you consider before you choose someone as your mentor? What do you want to get out of the relationship? When you go to someone and say, “please I want you to mentor me”, what exactly do you want this person to do for you? What about this person did you see, hear, read or encounter that convinces you that he or she could be your mentor.
There are structured organizational coaching and mentoring programs which is somewhat different from what I am writing about here. In this type of program, there is a schedule to follow, the results and activities are monitored and measured. It is part of a wider development program or succession planning.
When someone comes to you and asks if you can ‘mentor’ him or her, what exactly is that person asking of you? Is there a general understanding of what and how and result? Before you say yes to a mentoring request, please seek to understand what is being asked. Ask yourself whether you will be able to give what is being asked? First and most importantly, do you have anything to offer? Do you have the time to provide mentoring? Do you have the resources to guide and support the required development of the mentor seeker?
When we are approached by someone asking that we mentor them, it is beyond the ‘feel good’ feeling we get. It is tasking. It is time consuming. So before you rattle out the next yes to such request, ask yourself if you have anything within because you cannot give what you do not have.