Please Dress up Before You Talk to Me


Ever heard “we are defined by what we wear”? I am not sure I have but that is very true. I have certainly heard “Image is everything” and “First impression matters”. The first time I heard that “first impression matters, it was meant to go beyond what you are wearing…it included it but it was a lot more than that. Recently, I was reading a book on public speaking and presentations and scientific survey showed that “what the audience sees” account for 55% of your effectiveness…so dressing is important ..isn’t it then? But this goes on to say, your posture, body language etc…and the content of your presentation? Guess what? 36% (very demoralizing for people like me who think that people should look beyond what you are wearing and hear what you have to say)…that notion is wrong! wrong!! wrong!!!

No wonder all I hear about is what we are wearing or what bags we are carrying and whose shoes and sunglasses we are acquiring.
Earlier in the week, I walked into the lounge in the morning for that life saving cup of tea which gets you focused for the first time on what you need to do that day and these young boys and girls were in an argument about one designer whose bag cost up to Four thousand pounds sterling or $8,000,000 and counting the number of people (society celebrities and politicians wives who have the various designs and models from this particular designer. I was curious and I asked who this designer is and they mentioned something (have never heard and have never seen) now you know what I am talking about. I know the Gucci’s, the Fendi’s, the Pradas of this world but not who they were calling. I guess they may also look at me strangely if I say “Oh my God this is a Hermes scarf”. Is there any thing like a generational designer? Truly, this is not a subject that I know so much about. I am a very basic person and life is a lot more than what you wear (so I believe) but I have nothing against designer outfits… come to think of it, I own a few Gucci and Fendi shoes and a couple of Hermes scarf (no, I got the scarves from my late mother in-law’s drawers but I am sure she would have wanted me to have them). What do you think? I own then period!!

Back to the lounge discussions, the same day I went in for lunch and the discussion was on bags and designer make-up and perfumes. Now I was sure I was beginning to lose it or rather, I go in to the lounge at the wrong times. Just before you start wondering, we actually do some work in this office in addition to being at the lounge for breakfast and lunch. On this afternoon, I was hearing the different voices some affirming how much they will never spend on a bag and others countering and making a case for splurging every once in a while. Again, this seemed a little mundane to me but hey! There must be something like “generational discussions and topics” because I thought this was really becoming a problem, is there nothing more that we talk about and I can adequately participate in?

It is not that I have anything against such discussions, actually come to think of it, I had a similar discussion albeit somewhat different with a friend and my sister but we were at the mall where we had gone to see a movie and we had sometime to ‘kill’ before our movie starts so we were ‘window shopping’. My friend mentioned that she bought a channel bag (how could I have forgotten to mention channel in the list above?) on her way back from a recent trip for £1,500 at the airport (this is duty free purchase) which means on high street it will cost more and my first reaction was “Whoa!!, this is impressive” but how can you be buying such bag when there is “A” “B” and “C” to be done with money (my friend is doing a DBA”…she is one smart person and she will kill me when she reads this piece…yes she is definitely going to read it). And we went back and forth on how much we can spend on bags and shoes and I am not sure where we left this discussion. Now you know that I am not averse to designer or fashion discussions.

My problem is how can this topic dominate discussions at breakfast and six hours later it is still being discussed although from a different angle. What has happened to the era when people discussed national issues, books or articles they just read in the papers or in the magazine or their contribution to humanity? Again, I am convinced now more than ever that there are generational topics if not, how can I find it a bit unnerving?? I am also aware now more than ever that values may also have a generational inclination and that is where I will begin to question things.

Someone was writing or speaking (whichever one) about how materialistic the American society has turned and I believe it is not only the American society, it is the entire world. We are now described but what we wear and where we live and the car we drive. People are looked up to not my the virtues they espouse and live by or contributions they made to society but by how much they have in their bank account and the how many designer bags they have. Fancy this headline “Society Lady who owns 60 pairs of Prada shoes” and people spent their money buying this magazine. No wonder, designer and fashion topic will dominate discussions morning and night among young workers. I am sure no one will be shocked to find out who their role models are likely to be.

Recently I saw a bag that I talked about for days and it was for a whooping $700 and no one around me would hear anything else from me and it did occur to me that I may have been beaten by the same bug. Only I tried to justify my one crave and said that at least I try to own one at a time not one for every outfit…come to think of it, I wear mostly black so one will definitely be enough. I even went further to say that I want people to take me serious when I come into their office to pitch for a job or meet with an executive since we are measured by what we are wearing before we have a chance to prove that there is something else upstairs (brain)… all to justify purchasing my $700 bag.

The society does not wake up and make a conscious effort to define the rules and set new boundaries, but they evolve and then they become the norm so before you open your mouth to say anything about your wonderful invention or scientific finding and breakthrough, we have to deck you up in Armani pinstripe suit and tie so that we can even pay attention to what you want to tell us. According to Karl Lagerfield…the only thing that can make people make lasting changes to their lifestyle is fashion not even a health scare…the first time I saw it in prints I thought…what rubbish…you know what? I am beginning to believe him …what a world?

So what are you wearing? You want to be heard? …What are you wearing?...You want to make an impression?...what are you wearing? …you want to talk to youths in a youth program? …what are you wearing? If they analyze you (what you are wearing remember) and you are not close to what they have on, there is little chance that they will hear you but then this can be an urban lifestyle thing…maybe we need to all head to the villages but you know there are no cities and villages anymore…technology has taken all that away. Did I forget to ask what phone handset you are carrying? Or what car you drove to the event? It all counts!!!