How Important is Reputation

Often what we say or maybe I should say what I hear is “I really do not care what people think…I do not give a damn if that what he/she thinks…”and phrases like that. However, things come back to us and we wonder why anyone will describe us as they do or say things about us…we tend to forget our initial position on what people think.

We often say people have a right to their opinions and views, at what point should those views and opinions cross the line and become issues for us? If we are not bothered as we claim we are not and then we act the way we want or believe we should act and people read those actions and form their opinions and how come we worry and bitch about what they are saying about us? I have seen these problems in different settings, the conclusion then is that we truly care about what people say about us or think of us.

In the part of the world where I come from not just the country….inside the country I come from an exclusive part and they have their own inherent idiosyncrasies, if you meet an elderly person and introduce yourself and say you are from this village or that village, the first he says is “Who in the village is your father, actually they put it so bluntly “who gave birth to you in that village?”…and when you call your father’s name or your grand-father’s name, the old man or woman will draw his conclusions on who you are or what stuff you are made of. I agree that is not a fair or true reflection of the truth since we are all different and have our own missions and composition but as they say “blood does not lie” and the apple falls not too far from its tree”.

Recently, I have witnessed a very funny incident in the office that got me thinking. Our actions have a ripple effect. It is surprising that we do not think of the response of the people around us when we make decisions or act in certain ways. People who incidentally have a right to their own opinion and choice of response to our actions exercise their rights and we complain that they are either ‘spoiling our names’ or ‘spreading untruthful (short of saying false) information about us’…all they have done is make a choice of responding to our actions and attitude.

Someone will say that we do not have a right to judge anyone and I agree with that claim totally but what is the defining line between our perception of people, our interpretation of their actions and judgment? It must be a very fine line. Plus we never know who we truly are or how we would respond to situations that we have drawn conclusions about people on until we are confronted with the same situation…anyone ever remember the movie – “Crash”? Examples abound…yet we act recklessly, talk recklessly, and say we do not care and then we turn around and we care about what people are saying about us?

We must learn to sow good seeds in actions and words so that we can reap the fruits. It is impossible to sow an orange seed and it will produce apple. However, I understand that soil composition can make a sweet apple seed produce sour apple. As human beings God has blessed us with intelligence and gave us freewill to choose and that gift can either make us or destroy us (man), again the choice is ours. Whether we care or not about what our friends think, or our colleagues think, it is important for us to ask ourselves first, what report we want of ourselves and see if we truly do not care.

The Scary bit about aging

When people talk about aging and how they are not worried or scared of aging, we often focus on the looks:sagging skin, flabby breast (more like flat slippers), receeding hairline, wrinkles and grey hair...all physical stuff. I must confess that until I sat in a mamogram center recently, I too had not given the other side of of aging any thought whatsoever.

As I was sitting in my hospital gown waiting with other women of varied ages for a mamogram examination, this elegant , tall older woman probably about 70 -75 yrs came out from the examination x-ray imaging room and was trying to get back to her own chaning room. She kept opening the wrong doors and bumping into others and then it hit me...and hit me really hard that aging has other effects and issues beyond how we look. Also, when we are young as we are now (I still think I am young...you go figure), we tend to think that we will never age or that aging will ring a bell to announce its arrival and then we can stop it or we will age 'gracefully'...ever heard the popular phrase of aging gracefully???

Coincidentally, my friend and I were making a joke about what her worst disease will be in her old age and we said "definitely Alzheimer disease" since she has a nack for remembering everything and every face in the world that she has come across. But truly, it will be hard to see her not remembering even her own child but this is what aging can trigger.

If you have only thought about aging in terms of looks or menopause, I think it is time to think again. While I agree that there are medical and scientific breakthroughs that can delay aging or or take ages away from our physical looks (Dr. Rey, is making loads of money from this), I have not heard of one that stops it completely. We are toying with hormone replacements at this time...but aging is beyond the physical, hot flashes, Eds (for guys), it is more of the internal decline that we should concern ourselves with and brace up to face. Eating right and living right in your youth is critical but aging is a daily thing and right now, very scary. I imagined the woman I saw at the mamogram center in her youth and I thought...she could not have imagined what age will bring unto her even though she still looks dashing and gorgeous.

Reality Check…A visit to the Doctor

It feels good to be back…you know what I mean right?...to blogging…seems like there are tons of gists and insights that I really want to share. Who would have thought that I will miss spilling my guts out to the entire world? A little secrecy will not hurt, will it? How come I cannot keep quiet and keep things to myself? Too late now, I am already on the roll.

I also think that I have exceeded the break period by a couple of days but hey…that is okay isn’t it? Plus I am back to serve out the remaining of my notice period in this glorious company where I work…before you even ask…yes I had time to think through a lot of things and make some agreements with myself on what choices I will be making. I also stumbled on something that Stephen Covey said…it is choice not change determines destiny…I thought that was pretty cool but you know yours truly a whole lot of things sound pretty cool to me.

Just before the Christmas holidays, there was a very sad incident in this part of the world and this would be sad in any part of the world by the way. There was this lady whose obituary filled the local papers for days. She was 35 years old only and died of cancer…after several attempts at beating it…unsuccessfully as it finally happened…leaving 3 kids behind as I understand it between the ages of 7 and 3…how sad! It was even sadder because with cancer (not going into remission) you know it is a death sentence and it hangs over you until it takes you away…

As a mother I kept wondering how she would have lived with this knowledge and looking at her wonderful kids and knowing that hse will not be here to see them grow up. I mentioned this to people who have lived with loved ones with this disease (the closest I got to this was watching or not really watching but seeing a dear aunt of mine also taken away by this evil called cancer) and I was told that they go through 3 stages and eventually accept the inevitability of death and make peace with it and live the rest of their days in peace and in some kind of expectation for the death to come along. No matter how they put it, it sounded really awful.

Anyway, this death jolted the living truth out of yours truly and I made a decision that if I do get to where there is trusted medical examination and analysis procedure I will have myself checked out. So during this vacation, I got what they call annual physical…only in my own case it was a ‘life time physical’…you cannot imagine the doctor’s face when he asked when I had my last physical and I said “can’t remember’ or when I was asked by the radiologist the last time I had a mammogram and I said ‘never’. How can they understand? I did not worry so much about the shock on their faces…just wanted them to get on with all of the examinations.

I do not know how that thought got into my mind to go and see a doctor when there is nothing obviously wrong with me…or at least I think so or rather I thought so until I landed myself into a doctor’s office. How did I think that I will ask a doctor to check me out and he will say ‘go home you are hale and hearty? My mother always say that they will always find something and made worse even when I mentioned which part of the world I was coming from…. Oh boy…the doctor ticked off on all the things that can be tested in the form and the blood work test sheet. I was only happy when he said the little blood they have taken will be enough because the list was endless. They did find something but nothing life threatening as far as I am concerned…plus it is really God who has the final say…

So as you can see it was an eventful time out and loads of gist abound including my hubby’s aberration which led us to driving from Washington DC to Michigan…check the mileage in goggle…and the duration and then imagine the ‘fun’….

Good to be back and have a place to off load these.

What are you wishing for 2007

I cannot believe that it has been 2 weeks since my last posting. I hope you all had a good Christmas holidays. I have been doing a lot of travelling...so far it looks like a mission of "around the world in 30 days"...only I do not have 30 days but I promise I will tell all on this site...

First of all, I want to thank Almighty God who has made it possible for me and if you are reading this to see the end of 2006 in good health and looking forward to greater things as we step into 2007. It is new year's eve today and I am in awe as I am always everyday...at the mercy and faithfulness of God. I am always overwhelmed each 31st day of December since my adult life because I always see it as the express grace of God.

I do not know what complaints you have about the past year... its failures, disappointments and challenges that you would have faced in 2006 but it is worth taking a few minutes to say thanks to God and everyone who has either supported you or encouraged you in 2006 and as you look forward to 2007, to beleive that what you dream and wish for is possible. You are peculiar, and have peculiar talents and potentials deposited in you and if you can reach out and tap into it with faith and determination...not giving in to fear or all the obstacles that show up along the way, nothing will stop you.

I believe that 2007 is year of double miracle...if you are believing God for one...ask Him for two. He will not deny you any good thing.

It is my wish that the new year will bring you all the best and let nothing stop you...go ahead take the step towards your goal...greatness is not achieved in mediocrity...it is not achieved in fear...what are you wishing for in 2007? Do not make another resoluting, take action!!!

I will be on vacation for the next 2 weeks and there will be no updates in this site during this period.

Happ new year everyone and see you all in the new year!!!