I must say that this has been the longest break from updating my blogsite since inception except of course when I was on holidays. For some strange reason, it has been very hectic and it looks like my work schedule suddenly tripled…oh well I guess I can say that it at least doubled plus I had to add school run to my schedule last week since my nanny was on a sick off time.
Oh, it is another Monday, I will make good effort not to complain as I usually do on Mondays and I am way too busy today to notice the blues. Anyway, there was this nagging thing on my mind that came up in a discussion I was having with my friend over the weekend. And the more I thought about it, the more I think that I have not reached any conclusion…it is kind of tough and everyone seem to have an opinion and reach a position so very easily except me.
Will you date a man or woman who is divorced or separated, with intention to marry the person? I should explain what my difficulty is, as a Christian woman, I do not approve of divorce and that is kind of binding because God hates it. But what happens when one partner moves out of the house, first to fulfill the legal requirement of a certain period of separation and then requests for divorce. If you as the other partner who believes that because God hates divorce, you would not want a divorce, should you or should you not grant this partner divorce. Secondly, if you are single and a divorced or a ‘soon to be divorced’ but happily separated guy/woman shows up on the doors of your life, would you date/marry this person?
I believe that we see enough of divorces and separations everyday on TV with all the “woods…Hollywood, bolly wood, nollywood), I am not talking about celebrity marriages and what ever else the media has made of marriage. I am referring the marriage in the real sense of it…based on strong values and in the true meaning or Love.
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6 comments:
I'm sorry. My kneejerk response to this post is: how dare the approached person consider his/herself above the so-called sinner? Is the God you speak of the same one who stood up for a prostitute? What happened to giving people second chances?
I don't get it. Is it a "sin" to be divorced or seperated? What if you are married to a devil worshipper or pedophile?........are we supposed to stay in the marraige? or what if your husband decided that the whole family should become pagans,(thou shall not worship any other gods except me) and i get a divorce because I am a christian, so what happens to me then? nobody should marry me? Chineke! abeg, think about your question again.
God hates Divorce? Well if u think so, would God love 2 disagreeing ppl to be together for the rest of their lives in misery?
**Will you date a man or woman who is divorced or separated, with intention to marry the person?
why not. A person should be valued for his/her heart's content, not the marital status.
Keshi.
A lot of marriages we have are not marriages. They are an arrangement my cousin likes to call : pay-the-rent-I'll-have-your-kids-while-we-try-and-look-happy.
A quick story: Girl falls pregnant, and under duress, boy and girl get married. To protect the family name as well as save face. Boy feels under too much pressure as he is not happy to have a wife forced on him. Girl feels the same but tries so that "they" won't say she could not stay married".
Several years and at least 2 more children down the line, boy and girl get too old for the B.S*&^ and decide to go their seperate ways. By this time, their children have grown used to the fact that mummy and daddy quarrel and that daddy is a bit of a ladies' man. They may grow up to believe that this is the only way a r/ship can be.
Girl gisted my mum and says that she had to pull out in the end because she realised that the marriage ws not just toxic for her, but was toxic for her children as well. She said thast in the end, she felt she had done her children a disservice by remaining in that arriage for as lomg as she had.
Do you still think that divorce is a sin? I think it would have been more of a sin for those two to have stayed together.
hey guys...nice debate.
Amara i don't totally agree with you on this, but i would like us to debate on it here:
http://www.oneafrika.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=9696#9696
God does permit divorce.
I did say that I will not be bedating this...but Jen you have your way now hum? You got me out of my dreamland or is it vacation? God does permit divorce? I struggle with the word "permit". I have listened to a woman who got divorced because in her words "God must prefer divorce to suicide or murder". I laughed reading those words because we decided to ascribe degrees to 'sin' and i am not sure what metrics we are using. But that is a topic for another day. Back to this divorce thing and God permitting it, I do not want to make light of issues that can cause divorce. At the same time there is a sayign in my part of the world that says "if one goes to one market and there is trouble on Monday, and he/she goes to another market on Tuesday and there is trouble...Is the market or the person? Lol
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