Say Something…Will you?


How do some people do it? May be I should ask, how do some people get it and others do not? Were they born with it? Did they learn it? Ever since I can recall, I have been told that we can learn good habits, practice good attitudes (they actually say that attitudes are everything…I tend to believe that truly) and unlearn bad habits, change ‘not so very good’ attitudes and have a new life zest when we have made these changes.

Ever been in a lift or elevator with total strangers? I work in a big office complex down town and there are at least 20 – 25 different offices (I truly should take time to know how many offices it must be a good sign of neighborliness) and rarely do I enter the lift with people I know or the same set every morning. So regularly I am in the lift with total strangers (strangers because I have not met them before but since we work in the same building, I guess they should not be total strangers but maybe just strangers). Normal habit is that we all get into the lift and punch our floor numbers and stand stiffly for the lifts to make the rounds. If you see a face you’d seen before or had ran into in another place you give a smile. Other than that, we are all either very quiet or if there is long stare on a face, you give a stiff smile (know that smile that shows your teeth without any warmth from within?) You get quite a bit of it in the London underground tubes.

A couple of days ago, we were in the lift again. This time there was a young tall and very pretty lady in the lift when I got in and she really smiled. I smiled back and she said, “waoh! That is a beautiful fragrance you are wearing”. I searched her face to make sure it is a compliment and not you know (the world is crazy now and there are all sorts of people out there) but there was a genuineness in her statement that her face portrayed, I smiled even more and we talked about the fragrance…how fruity and how very mellow (I will not mention the fragrance since they have not paid me to advertise them on my blog site) and just then the lift stops on the first floor (we were coming up from car park) and in steps this lady who is heavily pregnant and this same lady smiled again so broadly that I was convinced that she knows this lady that entered and was happy to see her. Then she says to the pregnant lady “Your pregnancy suits you, you don’t look bloated for this stage and your skin is still glowing”. Now I was sure that this lady has something that I do not have. Obviously she did not know this pregnant woman from ‘Adam’ and she has not even seen her before yet she had positive nice things to say to all of us that entered that lift with her.

This whole simple episode got me rather puzzled until I got to my floor which is the last one. I left the lift smiling only because someone had helped set the tone for the day. I also left with a resolve that I’d learn, practice to say positive and nice things everyday to at least one person that I do not know or even the ones I know but as usual that resolve must have flown out the moment I stepped into the office because I never thought about this incident again or the ‘new habit’ that I decided I would acquire until last Sunday in church when I was sitting beside not a total stranger because I had seen this lady a couple times in church although we have never sat together and she had on a new short hair cut (typically she has long hair) and I thought she really looked very chic and nice with the short hair and I made a mental note to compliment her but each time I wanted to do that, I was tongue tied. I finally gave up and did not say a word.

I think some people are just born with that ability to see something good, something positive and say it to people but I believe that since it is something that we all like to hear, it should not really be that difficult to say nice things to people. A lot of people like me just see it and smile inwardly to ourselves and then even blurt it out to our friends how we saw something good or someone who had it all put together etc but we are never quick to give compliments or say these good things to people. It has occurred to me that people usually have bad days or are struggling with one affliction, loss, tragedy, crisis… you name it on a daily basis and we are all thinking and dreaming of big NGO things that we are going to participate in to impact people’s lives but the truth is, if we can do simple things like smile (from our heart), say good things and positive things to people we meet (not only in the lift) we will probably impact a lot more lives than we can do joining the UN Ambassadors’ program.

Each morning now I am on the look out for this lady that made so much impression on me only because she overcame her inhibition and tongue tightness (if there is any phrase like that) to say positive things. One of the things that really impressed me about this angel of good tidings is that she says these things effortlessly. Again, I am determined to practice this habit and make it a part of me and you are welcomed to join me. Smile they say…warms the heart, lifts sorrows and makes the world a better place. (Oh before I forget, I have to warn you all my friends who go to my site not to start keeping the log for when I did or did not say nice things to you).